so turns out the guy who discovered uranus originally wanted to name it “george”
just. imagine a planet called George
mercury venus earth jupiter saturn GEORGE
i bet the response that got the planet its current name was “you can shove that up your ass”
gluten free person: excuse me, but do you have any gf options?
sleeping in your boyfriend’s arms has got to be the most safest and comfortable place in this world
We have a frog and a pig
a rabbit and a promiscuously drawn woman
a donkey and a dragon
a shape shifting dog and a rainbow unicorn
and a warthog with a meerkat who raise a lion cub
But no one will ever accept the Bee Movie
I thought this was gonna be about gay couples but gee was I mistaken
i never want to get married and have kids i want to be 40 and a highly successful director and show up to my high school reunion dressed entirely in yves saint laurent with blood red lipstick and louboutin heels that could penetrate a man’s soft flesh in the current year’s bmw convertible and wear chanel sunglasses the entire time even while indoors so i don’t have to hold eye contact with the little people
how to kiss a boy
- grab his waist
- slip your hand in his pocket
- steal his wallet
- dont even kiss him
- just run
THE BEST FEELINGS IN THE WORLD.
- HOT SHOWERS.
- THE FIRST BITE OF A MEAL WHEN YOU ARE REALLY HUNGRY.
- TIGHT HUGS.
- CRAWLING INTO BED AFTER A LONG DAY.
- FOREHEAD KISSES.
- WAKING UP IN THE MORNING AND ACTUALLY FEELING LIKE YOU HAD ENOUGH SLEEP.
I have like 64 different laughs all ranging from cute bunny giggles to run the kraken is upon us